Honoring Our Past, Protecting Our Future: Estate Planning for LGBTQIA+ Families

October is LGBTQ+ History Month, a time to remember the people who fought for our right to love, marry, and raise families openly. During this time, we honor the activists and ordinary people whose courage changed the law. But there is a quieter part of that history that rarely makes the headlines: the partners who were turned away from a loved one's hospital bed, the families who lost their homes after a death, and the couples whose decades together counted for nothing in probate court.

At our firm, we believe estate planning is part of that story. A will, a trust, or a power of attorney may seem like paperwork. For LGBTQIA+ families, these documents have long been a form of protection and, in a real sense, a form of resistance.

A History Seen in Hospital Hallways and Probate Courts

LGBTQ+ History Month began in 1994 when a Missouri high school teacher proposed a month to recognize our community's past. October was chosen because it holds National Coming Out Day (October 11) and the anniversary of the 1979 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.

For most of that history, same-sex relationships had no legal standing at all. When a person died without a will, state law sent everything to their legal relatives, often parents or siblings who had rejected them. A partner of 30 years could inherit nothing, not even the home they shared.

The Sharon Kowalski case

In 1983, Sharon Kowalski was severely injured in a car accident in Minnesota. Her partner, Karen Thompson, was barred from visiting her for years after Sharon's father was named her guardian. It took Thompson nearly a decade of litigation to win guardianship in 1991. Their story became a rallying cry and a lesson in why written legal documents matter.

The AIDS crisis

During the 1980s and 1990s, a generation of gay and bisexual men faced the same injustice on a devastating scale. Surviving partners were locked out of hospital rooms, excluded from funeral decisions, and evicted from shared homes by estranged relatives. Community lawyers and volunteers responded by drafting wills and powers of attorney, often at bedsides. Estate planning became a survival tool for the community.

How Far We've Come: Milestones in Illinois and the Nation

Illinois families have gained real legal protections in the last 15 years. For instance:

Year	Milestone	What it means for your family
2011	Illinois civil unions take effect (June 1)	First statewide legal recognition of same-sex couples in Illinois
2013	United States v. Windsor	Federal government recognizes same-sex marriages for estate tax and benefits
2014	Illinois marriage equality takes effect in June of that year.	Same-sex spouses gain all Illinois spousal inheritance and decision-making rights
2015	Obergefell v. Hodges is decided by the United States Supreme Court.	Same-sex couples gain the right to marry in all 50 states
2016	Illinois Parentage Act of 2015 takes effect	Clearer paths to legal parentage for children born through assisted reproduction and surrogacy
2022	Federal Respect for Marriage Act signed	Federal law and every state must recognize a valid same-sex marriage performed where it was legal
2025	U.S. Supreme Court declines Kim Davis's petition to revisit Obergefell.	Marriage equality remains the law of the land, though opponents have said they will keep trying

These wins were hard-earned. But recent challenge to Obergefell are a reminder that rights recognized by courts can be challenged. A well-drafted estate plan protects your family no matter which way the political winds blow.

Why Marriage Alone Isn't a Plan

Marriage gives spouses important default rights. But Illinois law only does what it does, and many LGBTQIA+ families don't fit the template the law assumes.

• Unmarried partners have no inheritance rights. If you die without a will in Illinois, a partner you are not legally married to inherits nothing. Your estate passes to blood relatives instead.

• Chosen family is invisible to the law. The friends and mentors who became your family have no legal standing unless you name them in writing.

• Estranged relatives can step in. Without documents naming who you trust, a court may give decisions about your health, finances, or funeral to the very relatives who rejected you.

• Parentage can be challenged. A non-biological parent should not rely on a birth certificate alone, especially when traveling or moving to another state. A court judgment of parentage or adoption offers stronger protection.

• Other states may not be as welcoming. If you own property, travel, or may retire outside Illinois, clear documents reduce the risk of disputes.

• Taxes still apply. Illinois has its own estate tax with a $4 million exemption per person (far lower than the federal $15 million exemption for 2026) and no portability between spouses. Good planning can reduce that bill.

The Essential Documents for an Illinois LGBTQIA+ Estate Plan

A complete plan puts your wishes in writing so no one else can decide for you. Here is what we typically recommend:

Document	What it does	Why it matters for our community
Will	Names who inherits your property and who serves as executor	Ensures a partner or chosen family inherits instead of estranged relatives
Revocable living trust	Holds assets and passes them privately, outside probate court	Keeps your family's details out of public court records and harder to contest
Power of attorney for health care	Names who makes medical decisions if you cannot	Guarantees your person is at your bedside, the right Karen Thompson had to fight for
HIPAA authorization	Lets named people receive your medical information	Prevents hospitals from shutting out a partner or friend
Power of attorney for property	Names who manages your finances if you are incapacitated	Avoids a court-appointed guardian who may not share your values
Living will	States your end-of-life treatment wishes	Removes guesswork and family conflict at the hardest moment
Designation of agent for disposition of remains	Names who controls your funeral, burial, or cremation	Ensures you are memorialized by the people who knew you, with your correct name and identity
Standby or short-term guardian designation	Names who cares for your children if you cannot	Protects children from being placed with relatives you would not choose
Beneficiary designations and transfer-on-death instruments	Pass retirement accounts, life insurance, and real estate directly	These override your will, so they must be kept up to date

Each document should be reviewed after any major life event: a marriage, divorce, birth, adoption, move, or death of someone named in your plan.

Planning for Every Kind of Family

No two LGBTQIA+ families look alike, and your plan shouldn't either.

Blended families and co-parents

Many of our clients have children from earlier relationships, co-parent with friends, or are raising children through adoption, assisted reproduction, or surrogacy. Your plan should name guardians, set up trusts that hold assets for children until they're ready, and confirm that every parent's legal relationship to their child is secure.

Transgender, nonbinary, and gender-diverse people

Your documents should reflect who you are. We draft plans using your correct name and pronouns. We also help you state, in a legally binding way, how you wish to be identified in medical care, at your funeral, and on your headstone or memorial. This prevents family members from erasing your identity after you are gone.

LGBTQIA+ elders

Older members of our community lived through decades without legal protection. Many are more likely to live alone, be estranged from biological family, or rely on chosen family for care. Strong powers of attorney and long-term care planning help elders age with dignity and stay in control of their own lives.

Couples who choose not to marry

Marriage is a personal choice. Unmarried couples can still protect each other, but only through careful, intentional planning. Wills, trusts, joint ownership, and beneficiary designations can give a partner many of the protections marriage would provide.

Make Your Own Piece of History

The people we honor this month fought so that our relationships and families would be seen and protected. Creating your estate plan carries that work forward. It ensures that the people you love, whoever they are, are the ones who stand beside you, speak for you, and carry on your legacy.

At the Law Office of Andrew J. Mertzenich, we are proud to serve LGBTQIA+ individuals and families throughout Rockford and the Rock River Valley. Our consultations are open, welcoming, and centered on your family as you define it.

This LGBTQ+ History Month, give your family the gift of certainty. Call us at 815-420-8261 or visit www.MertzenichLaw.com to schedule a consultation today.

Law Office of Andrew J. MertzenichOne Court Place, Suite 404Rockford, IL 61101-1088815-420-8261 · www.MertzenichLaw.com

This blog post is for general information only and is not legal advice. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Laws change, and every family's situation is different; consult an attorney about your specific circumstances.